Showering

First: How to Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair.

8. Wash your face.

9. Shave armpits and legs.

10. Turn off shower.

11. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
Tilex.

12. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

13. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

14. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

15. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

AND NOW How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
weiner at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look in the mirror, look at your weiner and scratch your rear.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face.

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
sound in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Make a Shampoo mohawk.

13. Pee.

14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of the tub the whole time.

16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife,
pull off towel, shake weiner at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

19. Throw wet towel on bed.